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 I feel like Ringo after the beatles broke up

Wednesday, 6th November

 Feel absolutely exhausted and so fed up with everyone. Any time anyone does anything I feel annoyed. 

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 I bumped into nico in the record shop after art school. 

Bad vibes

 I’ve not really properly interacted with Harry since I was like eleven, but on sunday when I was at Jed’s house I definitely got the feeling that he didn’t really like me. I didn’t know if I was just being paranoid or picking up on vibes that weren’t there, but yesterday when we was walking back from the fireworks I was saying all this to my sister and she was like uh you’re just being paranoid why wouldn’t he like you, like he acts normal with me. And then we get to the bus stop and you’ll never guess who comes off the bus, Harry and Leah, and we’re like woahh hi and Leah says hi and Harry just kinda ignores us and then we scan our cards and get on the bus and when we’re sitting down my sister is like yeah I see what you mean, you definitely weren’t just being paranoid.

I don’t really know why he doesn’t like me but I’m glad I can sense it so I don’t embarrass myself by trying to befriend him properly. I don’t really care about him liking me anyway, he seems kinda annoying. He does graffiti and he’s kinda a big graffiti artist, like I see his tags everywhere. I think maybe he doesn’t like me because of Ella Magiure, who is another person I have barely interacted with who seems to have a vendetta against me. Ella’s one of those pretentious metalheads who hangs out with evil gang, she also hangs out in Harry and Callum’s shed. She plays the bass in a couple different bands, one of these bands, I wont say the name, because they’ve actually managed to get signed to a record company and they’re gonna be playing London. It’s kind of a big deal and I hate to admit it but they’re actually pretty talented. Anyway, Ella magiure is also notably a prick and kinda a bigot. She’s one of those lesbians who hate women, also according to Frankie she and some of the others once screamed the N word at one of Frankie’s pals in the street. My sister asked her about this coz they’re kinda friends and Ella just said she was drunk so she didn’t know what she was saying. I personally would not want to be associated with Ella after hearing this but whatever. Now she has this weird vendetta against me coz she thinks I’m trying to ‘cancel her’. Even though like I’ve barely talked to her, she ignores me every time she sees me, I’ve only met her like twice, we’re not even following each other. Anyway, because she hates me, she’s banned me from ‘The Trum’ AKA Harry’s stupid shed. So that might be why Harry seems to hate me as well.

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 If I was a dad, if I had helped make a baby, I would kill for my baby. If my child died I would probably kill myself I’d imagine. 

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 I used to look at lego set instructions on like big complicated builds and think how did humans even figure out they could do this.

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 Sometimes my life is so entertaining I think it could be a cartoon or something, like no way does evil gang just exist in real life.